Everything I read about the BOP house and the disgusting use of childlike imagery in adult content made me feel sick to my stomach for hours, but it's too important and pressing to ignore. Thank you for writing this
It's really quite shocking, isn't it? I dry heaved for a good few minutes after I watched Caitlin's video and knew I needed to write about it. Thank you so so much for sharing, reading, and taking the time to share your thoughts!!
In case you're interested too, I'm sharing one in a couple of weeks about parents posting their underage children on LinkedIn without their consent. I approach 4 of these parents and ask the really hard hitting questions - the conversations we had were VERY interesting. <3
So after all this concern for others you article feels like it was OK for you to do it but not for others.
I do agree with you on the premise that sex work should not be a career choice but it seems a bit odd for you to be stopping others from doing what you did.
It does not matter anyway as AI sex dolls will be here soon.
It is disappointing, from a male point of view, for women to be so high and mighty about morals only to have used that power themselves at some point.
If you found this post interesting (and horrifying), please consider checking out this video from a trafficking survivor who discusses that Bop Houses raise a LOT of red flags: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQxEtdiCFMQ
When I'm doomscrolling on Instagram it likes to show me Reels of girls who, it seems, use Instagram (and probably TikTok and other 'family' platforms) to advertise their OnlyFans. A trend I've noticed recently in these Reels is girls walking around gigantic houses, saying thanks to all the guys who paid for it, and they make me even more uncomfortable than their straight-up thirst videos cos they're explicitly telling girls that this is the lifestyle that Internet thottery can get you. It's all incredibly bleak
How interesting! Your algorithm is pushing more and more of that content because you're engaging with it btw, gone are the days of blaming our algorithms (because we ARE our algorithms!). The best way to get rid of these is to not engage, and click "not interested".
Thanks for taking the time to read my article and comment your thoughts!! <3
What annoys me about nearly every OF thinkpiece is no one addresses how we got here in the first place. Online and in-person Sex workers were squeezed out of access to payment platforms, banking services, subscription for content space like Patreon, advertising venues, online safety discussions on messages boards, etc. due to laws claiming to fight trafficking.
It's a long story, but OF was merely a means for online celebrities to monetize their fanbase. Because OF was the only place allowing adult content (with strict rules governing what could be discussed), sex workers started using it.
Sex workers were perfectly happy keeping to their child-free corner of the internet; unfortunately the government, instead of decriminalizing sex work and demanding free porn platforms like Pornhub paywall their content, tried to make online sex work go away altogether at a federal level.
You can basically blame your local congress rep for your 12 year old sister aspiring to be a OF star.
On your first two paragraphs, I wrote about 11,000 words on exactly that for my undergraduate thesis. Trust me, I know not many people touch on exactly that. For the sake of stroking my own ego in this piece, I avoided referencing my dissertation directly and loosely touched on some of the main points I could relate to Bop Houses specifically. Keeping it on track and on-topic rather than letting it spiral into an origin story of OnlyFans / analysis of our uses (which I did in my dissertation).
I don't, however, agree with your last two paragraphs. I don't think pointing blame to Congress or the government (because this is global, this isn't just about the US...) is the correct or most conducive way to conduct this discourse.
Instead, I think it's really important to, like I mention in this piece, discuss education around digital consumption; general accessibility (like putting iPads in front of children before they can walk) digital safety (talking to children about how to stay safe online and identifying when something should be raised to an adult), and more specifically something I did mention about peer-to-peer pressure points in more of an "aspirational" light (seeing kids their age dancing / acting / portraying themselves in such a way and the lies the Bop House markets itself in it just being a "friendship" house), etc.
You make some great points, but I think instead of pointing the general blame to the government, I think the real finger needs to be pointed at us, and how we let this happen to our (generally speaking, I don't have kids) children.
It's ultimately OUR fault as a society who evidently value the younger-looking creators over the more of-age creators. The government as a body isn't subscribing to xyz's OnlyFans because they're freshly 18 with a BBL; it's Steve down the road.
Awesome article. As a certified sex and porn addiction therapist (CSAT) that also sees sex offenders, this issue is getting worse every year. My sex offender clients are getting younger and younger by downloading, viewing and disseminating CSAM. While these kids are growing up in this culture, they will continue to either produce and/or download illegal material and ruin their lives. Most of these SOs have an underlying porn addiction which escalates into the illegal content. I am for SW and autonomy of women. However, the easy access to online platforms to children are problematic. The culture needs to shift,.. Although my pessimism kicks in and thinks it’s too late…
I think you've perfectly summarised the basis of my motivation for writing this piece! Thanks for this insight; sex work is fantastic and I think all sex workers deserve protection and safety, but tackling this issue at the root is super important. It starts with us, how we promote online use for our (generally speaking, I don't have kids) children and education surrounding how to identify something as inappropriate / when to raise it to an adult instead of secretly aspiring to be like them.
Well if you have any questions, I would be glad to help answer them if I can. I don’t have kids either, I feel you on that. It’s scary to even think to bring a child into this world. The unsolicited exposure to inappropriate things is so harmful but having the education/awareness about it is important for prevention.
A side issue is the exposure to kinks such as choking/asphyxiation/breath play. The research states that it isn’t ever really safe to do (even consensually). However, these kids are seeing it on the hubs and thinking that’s what girls want. Then they engage in choking a partner, without consent or education on kink process and safety planning. Then they end up catching sexual assault cases while in jail wondering how they got there.
It’s a very serious case of “monkey see, monkey do” but also ruins their life. Just because you saw something in a porno that “looked” cool to do but have no education about. Just to seem like you know what you are doing sexually. This is what ignorance can do..People have to talk to their kids about sex and what porn is and is not. Because for my adolescent clients, but by the time they are sitting and crying on my couch, their life already changed by becoming more difficult. Which is sad..
Keep writing about this, I think I should start too.
This is such an incredibly interesting topic omg!! Eli you're making some incredibly great points. I would LOVE to read a piece from you on this! Thank you for sharing your insights :)
This is an insane concept I never even really thought about!! Deep fakes have been around for a while, but they aren't entirely generative, just purely a face on a pre-existing piece of pornographic media
Okay so!! I just finished it and holy shit!! What a shocking movie. Didn't love the very end, but loved the entire plot. Thanks for this recommendation!
I have never had an OF subscription nor will i ever get one. I rather not meet an OF "influencer" either unless she was trafficked. I have no love for money if the money is not used to better oneself. OF reminds me of any other "addictive" substance. Just that OF, like sugar, alcohol, and cigarettes, is legal and legality supersedes morality or ethicality when it comes to money.
Un freaking believable. There is so much to unpack here, and yet there isn't. The idea of this way of life is NORMAL... well, it has definitely become desensitized in ways where nothing seems to be sacred anymore. It's going to take some strong momma's out there to make things healthy for these girls again... A lot of ancestral healing, trauma and dysfunctional family conversations to be had.
Everything I read about the BOP house and the disgusting use of childlike imagery in adult content made me feel sick to my stomach for hours, but it's too important and pressing to ignore. Thank you for writing this
It's really quite shocking, isn't it? I dry heaved for a good few minutes after I watched Caitlin's video and knew I needed to write about it. Thank you so so much for sharing, reading, and taking the time to share your thoughts!!
In case you're interested too, I'm sharing one in a couple of weeks about parents posting their underage children on LinkedIn without their consent. I approach 4 of these parents and ask the really hard hitting questions - the conversations we had were VERY interesting. <3
huh???? what business does a child have to appear on linkedin???? so strange! i'll definately tune in. love me some investigative journalism
So after all this concern for others you article feels like it was OK for you to do it but not for others.
I do agree with you on the premise that sex work should not be a career choice but it seems a bit odd for you to be stopping others from doing what you did.
It does not matter anyway as AI sex dolls will be here soon.
It is disappointing, from a male point of view, for women to be so high and mighty about morals only to have used that power themselves at some point.
For clarity, I never once said that sex work should not be a career choice. I stand loudly and proudly that it SHOULD be!
Your perspective of AI sex dolls and sex work is terrifying, but thanks for reading my article and for commenting!
If you found this post interesting (and horrifying), please consider checking out this video from a trafficking survivor who discusses that Bop Houses raise a LOT of red flags: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQxEtdiCFMQ
When I'm doomscrolling on Instagram it likes to show me Reels of girls who, it seems, use Instagram (and probably TikTok and other 'family' platforms) to advertise their OnlyFans. A trend I've noticed recently in these Reels is girls walking around gigantic houses, saying thanks to all the guys who paid for it, and they make me even more uncomfortable than their straight-up thirst videos cos they're explicitly telling girls that this is the lifestyle that Internet thottery can get you. It's all incredibly bleak
How interesting! Your algorithm is pushing more and more of that content because you're engaging with it btw, gone are the days of blaming our algorithms (because we ARE our algorithms!). The best way to get rid of these is to not engage, and click "not interested".
Thanks for taking the time to read my article and comment your thoughts!! <3
"It's very interesting that you're seeing men promoting these based on your own algorithm." Don't know what you mean by this.
We are categorically NOT our algorithms, Instagram (Reels at least) shows me exclusively thirst traps because it knows I'm male, simple as that
I wasn't actually talking about bop houses at all
I really don't know what you mean. Which men are promoting bop houses?
Sorry, I completely misunderstood your original comment :)
Women like you enabled this.
You should feel horribly guilty.
Log off.
I don't feel guilty, because this deserves to be talked about<3 thanks for the engagement!
What annoys me about nearly every OF thinkpiece is no one addresses how we got here in the first place. Online and in-person Sex workers were squeezed out of access to payment platforms, banking services, subscription for content space like Patreon, advertising venues, online safety discussions on messages boards, etc. due to laws claiming to fight trafficking.
It's a long story, but OF was merely a means for online celebrities to monetize their fanbase. Because OF was the only place allowing adult content (with strict rules governing what could be discussed), sex workers started using it.
Sex workers were perfectly happy keeping to their child-free corner of the internet; unfortunately the government, instead of decriminalizing sex work and demanding free porn platforms like Pornhub paywall their content, tried to make online sex work go away altogether at a federal level.
You can basically blame your local congress rep for your 12 year old sister aspiring to be a OF star.
Thanks for reading and thanks for these thoughts!
On your first two paragraphs, I wrote about 11,000 words on exactly that for my undergraduate thesis. Trust me, I know not many people touch on exactly that. For the sake of stroking my own ego in this piece, I avoided referencing my dissertation directly and loosely touched on some of the main points I could relate to Bop Houses specifically. Keeping it on track and on-topic rather than letting it spiral into an origin story of OnlyFans / analysis of our uses (which I did in my dissertation).
I don't, however, agree with your last two paragraphs. I don't think pointing blame to Congress or the government (because this is global, this isn't just about the US...) is the correct or most conducive way to conduct this discourse.
Instead, I think it's really important to, like I mention in this piece, discuss education around digital consumption; general accessibility (like putting iPads in front of children before they can walk) digital safety (talking to children about how to stay safe online and identifying when something should be raised to an adult), and more specifically something I did mention about peer-to-peer pressure points in more of an "aspirational" light (seeing kids their age dancing / acting / portraying themselves in such a way and the lies the Bop House markets itself in it just being a "friendship" house), etc.
You make some great points, but I think instead of pointing the general blame to the government, I think the real finger needs to be pointed at us, and how we let this happen to our (generally speaking, I don't have kids) children.
It's ultimately OUR fault as a society who evidently value the younger-looking creators over the more of-age creators. The government as a body isn't subscribing to xyz's OnlyFans because they're freshly 18 with a BBL; it's Steve down the road.
Correction: blame your senator
Awesome article. As a certified sex and porn addiction therapist (CSAT) that also sees sex offenders, this issue is getting worse every year. My sex offender clients are getting younger and younger by downloading, viewing and disseminating CSAM. While these kids are growing up in this culture, they will continue to either produce and/or download illegal material and ruin their lives. Most of these SOs have an underlying porn addiction which escalates into the illegal content. I am for SW and autonomy of women. However, the easy access to online platforms to children are problematic. The culture needs to shift,.. Although my pessimism kicks in and thinks it’s too late…
I think you've perfectly summarised the basis of my motivation for writing this piece! Thanks for this insight; sex work is fantastic and I think all sex workers deserve protection and safety, but tackling this issue at the root is super important. It starts with us, how we promote online use for our (generally speaking, I don't have kids) children and education surrounding how to identify something as inappropriate / when to raise it to an adult instead of secretly aspiring to be like them.
Well if you have any questions, I would be glad to help answer them if I can. I don’t have kids either, I feel you on that. It’s scary to even think to bring a child into this world. The unsolicited exposure to inappropriate things is so harmful but having the education/awareness about it is important for prevention.
A side issue is the exposure to kinks such as choking/asphyxiation/breath play. The research states that it isn’t ever really safe to do (even consensually). However, these kids are seeing it on the hubs and thinking that’s what girls want. Then they engage in choking a partner, without consent or education on kink process and safety planning. Then they end up catching sexual assault cases while in jail wondering how they got there.
It’s a very serious case of “monkey see, monkey do” but also ruins their life. Just because you saw something in a porno that “looked” cool to do but have no education about. Just to seem like you know what you are doing sexually. This is what ignorance can do..People have to talk to their kids about sex and what porn is and is not. Because for my adolescent clients, but by the time they are sitting and crying on my couch, their life already changed by becoming more difficult. Which is sad..
Keep writing about this, I think I should start too.
This is such an incredibly interesting topic omg!! Eli you're making some incredibly great points. I would LOVE to read a piece from you on this! Thank you for sharing your insights :)
I will send it your way when I make it!
I believe twitter in the late 2010s first normalized this behavior. I’m not against SW but people need to realize it’s all not glitz and glam.
Definitely! Same with tumblr porn!!
All this! Plus the link of grown American men watching anime but actually it’s hentai where every girl is an ambiguous age
+ their voices sound like actual children.
yes yes and yes. agree 100000%
Wow you're never too old to learn, your posts are genuinely opening my eyes.
This makes me so happy, so glad you find my posts valuable!!
With the rise of Generative AI, how long before Only-Fans are replaced by electronic counterparts?
The UK is already rolling out Laws to make it illegal to create, download or store Gen AI underage content.
This is an insane concept I never even really thought about!! Deep fakes have been around for a while, but they aren't entirely generative, just purely a face on a pre-existing piece of pornographic media
i recommend the horror film “Cam” from 2018; this is essentially the plot!
Okay so!! I just finished it and holy shit!! What a shocking movie. Didn't love the very end, but loved the entire plot. Thanks for this recommendation!
OMG! Will add it to my list, thanks for this!! <3
The gen ai will also be replacing the interactivity as well
I have never had an OF subscription nor will i ever get one. I rather not meet an OF "influencer" either unless she was trafficked. I have no love for money if the money is not used to better oneself. OF reminds me of any other "addictive" substance. Just that OF, like sugar, alcohol, and cigarettes, is legal and legality supersedes morality or ethicality when it comes to money.
Un freaking believable. There is so much to unpack here, and yet there isn't. The idea of this way of life is NORMAL... well, it has definitely become desensitized in ways where nothing seems to be sacred anymore. It's going to take some strong momma's out there to make things healthy for these girls again... A lot of ancestral healing, trauma and dysfunctional family conversations to be had.
Thanks for adding your thoughts!! I feel the EXACT same; so much yet there really isn't. Can we be surprised? No. Is it devastating? Yes :(